I woke up thinking about ‘lies’. It’s a topic I face a lot in practice.
I see people when the mask is off; when their vulnerability is present; when their insecurity is tangible.
I see the mascara trails, the fidgeting fingers, the haunted eyes, and smell the desperation.
I sometimes feel like a specialist builder shoveling in cement – filling in the chasm, the gaping black hole inside, the part where the wind whistles through 🌪️
Everyday I am confronted with the BIG lies clients tell the world:
- I am ok 😳
- I have everything under control 😳
- I have THE answer 😳
I am invited to see behind the ‘pro headshot’, the networking award photos, the filtered ‘me so happy at work’ selfies, the elevator pitched identity, and the coaching-sticky-plaster-rockingit-spiel.
I get shown behind the self-publicizing 🐂💩
I do the work. I start digging.
I don’t hand out platitudes or ‘positive thinking’ fairy dust. What’s the point? It doesn’t work long term or in the face of derailing life events. My clients have more than likely written and published manuals on that stuff anyway.
So, I do my own form of magic.
It’s not a cure. I don’t offer Nirvana or promise that from now on life is going to be non-stop milk and honey. (Spoiler alert: these are lies). Then patched up, I watch my clients go back out there.
They are all changed. Some a lot, some a little. Many come back over the years when something ‘new’ happens. I suppose they know what they are getting with me. ⚓️
Circling back to lies:
1. Those folk just ‘killing it’.
Yeah, normally they are killing ‘it’ – the ‘it’ is themselves – drink, drugs, anger, bad relationships, gambling, loss, loneliness, mental health meltdown.
2. ‘All you need to do is’ coaching packages.
That’s just sales and believe me I have had a lot of the folks selling these packages in my clinic.
3. ‘I’ve got my life together’.
No-one has. No-one. Me included. Life is a process. A journey. A series of blunders trying to map out a straightish line.
Anyone telling you they’ve got it together, got THE answer, and is posting nonstop ‘my constant success’ content is talking 🐷 wash.
It is the heArt of the Con – the fear of missing out; the aspirational dream; the elixir of confidence – except I’ve seen backstage and it’s all a Hollywood-staged scenery facade – a big, f-ing lie.
You are all perfect, doing what you are doing, even if the only person who truly appreciates it is your mum/dad/partner/kids/cat and some days you are going to feel like you can’t find your ars* with both hands – that’s wonderful, that’s real, that’s true, that’s honesty and always, always, always know honesty is a damn good place to start ❤️
Reach out if you want to fill that hole inside
Helping you shout out #myfreedomtothrive
#mentalhealthawareness #work #success #coaching #sales #networking